She is just a daughter in love not in law!

After the buzz on the internet about the Meghan and Harry show, I was amazed by the level of hypocrisy we have in tying to fix the royal family issues instead of our own families where exploitation of a daughter in law is the norm. The saga deeply reminded me of how the society has taken the girl child into a lifetime bondage in the name of marriage. In reality daughters in law face more than just racism, they endure classism, tribalism and the marriage title come with a lot of unrealistic expectations, microaggressions. The story of the two is just an iceberg of how women are treated by their in-laws especially those who cannot afford to settle on their own after marriage. In most households a woman can never be sick, tired or emotionally hurt. They have to endure all the pain that comes with being in a new family. They are stateless citizens who lose protection of their father and brothers as a result of marriage and are put in a family where no one is a friend but an enemy.
Marriage is supposed to be blissful on both parties but in most cases is it is like a lifetime assessment for the bride regarding household duties and taking care of elderly people in that family even those who could fend for themselves in the absence of the newly married bride. The bride is expected to be a wonder woman who is perfect in all aspects of life. She is criticized and abused verbally intentionally and unintentionally in such a manner that she becomes bitter even towards the husband who is failing to protect her. Our society is so toxic that a man who protects his wife from the monstrous in-laws is deemed very weak and is shamed and degraded.

Ideally, marriage should be between two people but most women find themselves accountable to everyone including the dog of the house from what they wear, say or do. They have no freedom of choice, they have to follow the religion and norms of the family, they have to wear what is dimmed fit by the family and they have no voice in any family issues. They are subjected to family meetings reprimanding them without any remorse or representation from their families even when they are innocent. Every day, women suffer silently in a bid to protect their marriage and children and for some when it becomes too much they resort to suicide. They develop bitterness in such a way that they even end up busing their own children creating a never-ending cycle of abuse. They have no freedom of choice, they have to follow the religion and norms of the family, they have to wear what is dimmed fit by the family and they have no voice in any family issues. What does it mean then in relation to the human rights charter?

Taking into account women like Beth Moore and Meghan Markle who are not afraid to lose anything for what is right, have you ever imagined our economically impaired sisters who are relying on men for survival? How can their voice be heard if they can’t survive on their own especially those in the Global South? With the pandemic hitting the economy hard, most families are forced to go their family homes. Frankly speaking the daughter-in -law in most families can’t wait for the day she will go back to her own home because of the animosity she is receiving from the in-laws. Most women are verbally abused, they are given exorbitant household tasks as some form of punishment. Truth be told, a woman becomes a slave to the whole family, having to deal with physical, emotional and psychological traumas caused by the in-laws. The most pathetic reality about this abuse is perpetrated mostly by women.

Over the years they have become enemies of their own of which I don’t blame them. The notion of the Marxism theory of exploitation has taken a toll on women in such a way the they have become bitter beings hiding their pain through exploitation of others. Women are exploited in families by their fathers, brothers and sons and it’s a never-ending cycle hence all this animosity amongst them. When are women going to be free? She puts everyone first, what about her dreams and what she wants. She is just someone’s daughter who is in love in law.